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Building Resilience & Self-Care

How many times have you been bent out of shape, stretched or compressed? Probably too many times to count. Out of those times, you many times did you spring back and what did it take to recover? You probably didn't think your ability to withstand difficult times had anything to do with your resilience, but it does. Each time we win, we can thank the resilience and the drive inside of us to keep going. But did you know, you can hone this skill? Sometimes things bother us for way too long. Other times we don't snap back as quickly as we should. And some, unfortunately, don't recover at all and their mental wellness becomes at risk.

At Wicked Flame, we started this business out of necessity. Stressed out on corporate jobs. Constant adversity. Drama. Stress. More stress. By making aromatherapy products, we began to manage better and cope. It's not always easy. It's downright hard when you can't see your way out of that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. The view you hope isn't a freight train. Guess what, sometimes it is a train! You need to protect yourself and build up tenacity and courage to be resilient, at all times and especially in the face of adversity.

All month we've had conversations around resilience and shared success stories. This article is meant to not only inspire, but connect you with insight to help you start or continue building a sense of wellness, self-care, and calmness.

One of the first steps to building resilience is to lower self-criticism and make self-worth. Society beats us down enough. We can save ourselves from the added grief that comes with self-inflicted pain. You should be kind to yourself as this is the basis for developing confidence and resilience to handle what comes your way. Take a moment to enjoy the little things. They add up to bigger things.

I'm working on slowing down and being mindful of what's happening and how I feel about it at any given point in time. And then, controlling my reaction or lack thereof. I'm concentrating on having gratitude and rethinking how to change adverse situations into positive outcomes. Developing resilience takes patience and time.

Can you imagine someone pushing all of your buttons, trying to set you off? It is difficult not, but I've found that taking a deep breath and managing how I'll respond to the challenge has proven far better results than engaging in negativity.

Being well and resilient takes ongoing practice.

As you light your candles, calm yourself and start the process of healing yourself. Think of a moment that offered you enrichment. Soak in it. Let it marinate. Now, use that feeling to replace those thoughts that bend, compress, and stretch you. Then, repeat. This exercise is one of many ways to build resilience and create more meaningful interactions and positive outcomes.

Do you notice when something goes wrong, that feeling usually sticks longer than when things go right? More times than not, things are going well, but for some reason, we don't count the big wins in the same way as the small losses. We often harp on what went wrong when the reality, a lot of things are going right. We always talk about treating yourself, and that's because we understand the fundamental importance of rewarding yourself. By paying yourself, you are helping your brain rethink and store better experiences, pushing out the negative space.

Being resilient is not just about positive thinking. I'm a realist. All the positive thinking in the world sometimes isn't enough to push us forward. Being realistic allows you to own each emotion that comes with an experience. The good, bad, and ugly. This is necessary to build inner strength and overcome adversity. You can't have resilience if you've never been through anything! Acknowledge, receive, restore, recover, and grow.


Resilience is not about being tough. You don't need to be physically tough. It's your inner spirit that needs protection and nourishment. While building resilience, keep an eye on your mental and emotional health. Taking care of yourself is critical. Don't suppress yourself or your emotions because of what others might think. Expressing yourself with a level of fierceness builds resilience.

What can you do today to promote your inner peace? Now, do it.


For the rest of this month, we will continue sharing examples of resilience in our day-to-day. You can chime in here with your own stories of buoyancy and download resources and worksheets to help you train your mind, body, and spirit to be more resilient.

Thank you for sharing and let's help each other become the best versions yet!

Resources & Downloads

The Road to Resilience 

27 Resilience Activities and Worksheets for Students and Adults (+PDFs)

Resilence Exercises 

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